What women want

What does a woman really want? a question that has mind boggled men and philosophers over time. Understanding a woman has often been compared to quantum physics because apparently, it is that hard? 

March 8th, A day when people across the globe recognise women in their lives and all over the world for what they have contributed to society.  It is on this day corporates choose to represent and highlight 'womanhood' in their corporate social responsibility or marketing campaigns, reward their woman employees with bouquets and greeting cards, maybe some recognition. But do women want only one day of recognition and respect? 

Women have come a long way to procure certain basic rights. Generations later, the fight against patriarchy still goes on in all corners of the world. Equality for women may have been achieved on paper, laws may have been made but how prevalent are they? 

Even today a woman is expected to get married by the time she turns 25 and bear children before she turns 30, beyond that, she is no good to the groom's family and society at large (the clock is ticking...) Even today, a woman is schooled to keep the needs of her husband, in-laws and children before her own and even today a woman is paid less than her male coworkers for the same job. Even today, dowry is given and taken, in different ways perhaps. Even today, society refuses to recognise marital rape. 

I would like to cite a personal incident here. One evening I asked a confidant If a girl should continue to keep her maiden name after marriage and with a disapproving look he told me that after marriage a girl is supposed to be her husband's. I wondered, her husband's what? Is she a commodity that belonged to one family once and then is sent to another? 

Coming back to where we started. What does a woman really want? Let me try to break down the answer to this question for you in this article. However, that may not be all, as it shouldn't be.

Every time a girl is born, she is raised differently from her brothers or other male children in the family. The girl child is often schooled about the importance of excelling at household chores so she can be accepted by her husband and in-laws. Young boys on the other hand are pressurised to do well financially so they can sustain their families singlehandedly. This was prevalent especially in the previous generations, and continues to date, to some extent. Boys are often told that a 'mard' doesn't need to know household chores (alpha males) and girls should not be ambitious. However, a change is being observed and it is seen that young boys and girls (millennials and Gen Z) are willing to share the load and have come to a realisation that possessing the knowledge of basic household chores and earning their bread is extremely important for a partnership to work in the future. 

Coming down to safety, even today, a sense of fear grips a woman every time she notices a shadow lurking in the dark, or when she has to travel in a crowded bus or train, men trying to press their bodies against hers and don't ask me of the feeling when a much older man tries to make a pass at you, assuming that you are naive and gullible, or bosses who withhold a promotion until they receive sexual favours. Laws may be made, but to which extent have they been able to safeguard women against these experiences? Ask yourself this question, then look around yourself. Is this too much to ask for? 

For how long will the homemaker's voice be unheard? How long will it take their privileged husbands to appreciate what the woman does to keep their home running, and for how long is he planning to not acknowledge the work his wife does? Why does he think that he has done the bride's parents' a favour by marrying their daughter and why does he need to be paid for it? (dowry).

For how long newlywed women will be pressurised into motherhood against their will and for how long her in-laws will disapprove of her job? for how long will we stress men with our financial expectations. Why not share the load and responsibilities? 

 A woman is a human, like you and me, who does not have to be tied down and told to live their lives according to what we as a society like or approve of. 

On this and every upcoming women's day, we wish to be treated like every human, allowed to live our own lives, make our own decisions and uphold what we believe in without society looking down at us. Most importantly, we don't want it just today, we want it every day. 

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY