Ghosted: The new age horror story

Have you ever been ghosted by someone, or have you yourself ever ghosted someone, intentionally or unintentionally? 

Agree to it or not, getting ghosted by someone we had a good time with is one of our generation's biggest fears. I have talked about social media in my previous articles, and in this one, I intend to talk about the biggest social media related scare of all time. False Pregnancy scare or getting bitten by a hidden snake on the toilet still tops the list, by the way. 

Before diving right into the topic and my personal experience with ghosting, let's help the boomers who are currently reading this article understand what 'ghosting' means and no, it does not mean being haunted or followed by a ghostly spirit, nor is it a Halloween thing. 

According to the Oxford dictionary, ghosting is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. How many of us have been in a position where we finally came to believe that we have met with the right person and next day onwards, we start noticing their one-word or uninterested texts? Most of us, who are living in the era of casual dating, have encountered this feeling. 

I have been ghosted numerous times, and I would not lie, I have ended up ghosting some people too. All of us deserve some clarity or closure, only to know the next step that we ideally should take. But what are some obvious signs that we need to look out for to prevent ourselves from getting ghosted or just brace ourselves to deal with it because forcing communication with someone is just not worth the effort. 

1. LATE REPLIES

This is the most obvious sign when someone is about to ghost you. Look out for their texting speed, if it is much slower than what it was before, retreat, But keep in mind, emergencies can happen or maybe they are just caught up in something. Best way to let go of the confusion, ask them. 

2. ONE WORD TEXTS 

If the person to whom you have been talking to has started to respond to your texts in an uninterested manner or say, gives a one-word reply to your expressive texts, I suggest you toughen up. 

3. NO CLARITY ON FUTURE PLANS 

If the person you are talking to has not yet initiated a plan to meet you in person or if they do not provide you with some clarity when you ask them out, it shows lack of effort and you know what we do when we see that. We move on. 

4. TRUST YOUR GUT 

You are the better judge and so is your gut. If someone you know is willing to break contact with you, you will know. This is because it is you who has been talking to them and it is you who has to observe the aforementioned behavioural changes. Trust your gut, it never lies. 

5. THEY STOP INITIATING A CONVERSATION

The moment you feel that you are the only one who is making an effort to text or call the other person, know that your chapter in their life is about to end. At times, someone might ghost you without any of the above-mentioned signs, but If you have come across someone like that, let me tell you, they're not worth your time and mental peace. 

Now, how do I deal with ghosting? The answer is very simple, I accept it and I move on. People ghost those in whom they have lost interest in, in most cases. It is totally okay to be ghosted by someone because there is nothing you can do about it. No matter how hard you try, you cannot force someone to look at you the way you look at yourself (I am promoting self-love here) and nor can you do anything to make them talk to you over call or text. 

Best is to keep talking to and meeting new people, concentrate on school, university or work or just have a drink with the squad reminiscing the fun times for you never know what life has in store for you. 

Now if you are someone who is about to cut ties with someone or if I say it directly, ghost them- give them closure, they deserve to know.